August 24, 2025 : 9:34PM
Diamond A. Buchanan | DasBuchanan@outlook.com
Children are the gateway to the future. They are the ultimate blessing, the epitome of innocence and truthfulness. Yet, despite their importance, the reasons people choose to have children are rarely selfless. Rarely does anyone say, “I want a child to make a difference in society” or “I want my child to achieve something meaningful in life".
Instead, most motivations are personal and self-serving: to have someone care for them in old age, to continue their family name, to see a younger version of themselves, or to avoid societal scrutiny. There is no guarantee a child will fulfill these desires, making it unfair to bring life into the world for such reasons.
When you bring a child into the world with pre defined expectations for what they should or should not do or who they should or should not be, you have already set them up for failure.
Parenthood is far more than providing lunch money, helping with homework, or dressing a child up to meet one’s expectations. Raising a child requires nurturing, guidance, time, and immense effort. It is about developing a human being into someone who contributes value to society not simply producing a reflection of oneself. Many parents fail to recognize this, treating children as extensions of their own identity.
The societal focus on sons carrying the family name exemplifies this self-interest and is rooted in patriarchal systems. A child’s surname often honors the father, despite the mother enduring nine months of physical change and pain to bring the child into the world. Parenthood demands good intentions and serious commitment, not casual or selfish desire.
The most common reasons people cite for having children, carrying on a legacy, seeing what the child will look like, having someone to care for them in later years are inherently self-serving. True parenthood requires recognizing a child as an independent individual and taking responsibility for raising them with purpose, care, and awareness.
Children deserve more than to be instruments of someone else’s desires. They deserve parents who understand the profound responsibility of bringing life into the world. If you choose to have a child, the person you will be having is one that has never been on the planet before and will never be on the planet ever again after they die.